Reason #601 Why Churches Shouldn’t Market

Add this to the “Yikes” file.

Yesterday we received a direct mail piece – a run of the mill 6 x 9 postcard. Plastered on the front is “Imagine Your Toughest Job” accompanied by pictures of a welder, utility worker, winter rescue guy, and firemen. On the back is where it gets good.

“Now Imagine God’s Toughest Job.” Hmm…I’m imagining…Creation? Sovereignly ordaining all things? Being the Trinity? Sending his son to die and take the wrath of God? Rising from the dead? Maybe nothing is hard for God because, well, he’s God? The answer is apparently none of those. The answer? “It’s you!” (with a large hand pointing an index finger at the reader).

How do they explain?

“IT’S YOU! Have you ever wondered what jobs really are the most difficult for God? The middle east [sic]? The economy? No. GOD’S toughest job is waiting for us to respond to His love. In fact, to God you’re a job worth dying for. Come join us at Vineyard Community Church as we look at God’s toughest jobs. And what’s best is that when God wins, you get the prize.”

Wow.

Taking up the secondary aspects on the back include an upcoming sermon schedule and a silver beveled and embossed “Don’t worry, we have jobs for your little ones too!” with an accompanying yellow smiley face. Probably my favourite blurb from the postcard is the fine print at the bottom: “Present this flyer at our Sacred Grounds Cafe’ [sic] for a free specialty drink.”

Just because I was curious, I went to their website, and read this in their brief About Us page: “Vineyard Community Church is a group of diverse people learning how to manage our lives with God’s help.” In their defense, their “What We Believe” section is better, but there’s no mention of any of it in their advertising.

2 thoughts on “Reason #601 Why Churches Shouldn’t Market

  1. we’ve got a church in fort collins with the same name. they are at all the csu football games telling the wasted college students that “Jesus loves you” while handing out vineyard church bottle openers. they also give away free, extremely overcooked, hotdogs and hamburgers to “show God’s love.” pretty awesome stuff.

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